Transparency & Other Women..

It isn't easy being married. It's a fact. Lots of things change. You start thinking not only of yourself but also your partner's, and there are certain situations you must learn to perceive in a whole new light.

What am I talking about? Let me share with you what happened to a good friend of ours who got into serious trouble with his wife two nights ago over some woman's text message. Here's the rundown:

To make the story short, in an attempt to snag a free ride to work, a female co-worker sent our friend numerous text messages asking him if he could pick her up. For a while, she has been sharing rides with our friend without the wife knowing. Wife learns about it, blows off like a timebomb, and the rambling never stops.

Poor fellow came to us crying his heart out as he helplessly recounted how his wife humiliated him by hurling obnoxious remarks at the female co-worker whom we guess was quite shocked herself at what took place. You see, the wife is the impulsive, over-jealous type who tends to react violently whenever faced with something doubtful.This wasn't new to them though.

Before we went to bed,Leih & I talked about how we thought of this scenario. He then explained to me the two sides of the story, the way he sees it.

The wife was clearly over the edge. Jealous as she may have been, she should have given her husband a chance to explain his side and not go raving like a lunatic on leash. True, that she may have reasons to feel offended by what the other girl did (texting & asking her hubby to fetch her, blah blah blah), still, she shouldn't have lowered her propriety & manners in such a ridiculous way. And humiliating the husband is way out of line (I strongly agree).

With the husband, Leih explains to the guy that though he wasn't really doing anything bad, again, he should have taken into consideration the feelings of her wife with regard to specific things, more so, him already knowing how over-jealous his wife gets.

I agree that when one gets married, we should start becoming more careful with how we move or act around people, specifically careful not to give others any reason to think of us as rather promiscuous. It is a means of giving respect that is due to a wife and vice - versa. Not that it's a bad thing for you to hitch a ride with some guy from work, but think of how he would feel if he finds out you and the guy were the only ones sharing that long ride to Manila... hmmm, quite reasonable. Though the wife was partly wrong with her reactions, I couldn't fully blame her why she felt that way, she had her own point.

But most importantly, I have this to say to the other woman who by the way is also married ~~ Next time, she should be more considerate of other people whenever she asks for favors, especially from married friends or even those who are just plain committed. She should have thought how silly she would look, trying to snag a free ride, ignoring the fact that someone may get offended or jealous of her whenever she keeps sending wrong signals. Partly, she can't blame the wife for getting mad. She had clearly stepped into the wife's territory. (whoever said territories are just for animals? (^_^)

It may be true that she meant no harm. But still, as women, we all should be more careful not to make ourselves perceived rather wrongly. This is where propriety sets in. The small things we do can always be taken badly by others, but there are ways on how we could prevent this. After all, it all falls on how we put value on our modesty that we are judged, treated & respected. Sounds kinda unfair but it is the truth. We live in a double - standard country where women are judged and ostracized for almost everything. It's the system we grew up in and I have a feeling it'll stay that way for a longer time...

It was nice to hear a man's point of view about certain things like this. I'm glad I got to hear what my husband had in mind.