My Own Tale on Motherhood...

Motherhood doesn't come easy. That's something I learned in the past 2 weeks. Since I delivered, I barely had any decent sleep nor rest. I'm always up, tending and patiently nursing the baby even if breastfeeding proves to be such a difficult feat. Some say it would ease up once I get the hang of it but it has been more than a week and I still cringe when my baby latches, but for the love of my little girl, I am willing to withstand all the pain.

There would be mornings that I wish I could go out for some fresh air, maybe go to the mall, have some quick lunch & buy a good book or something, just so I could have some "me time".... but I can't ~ for some reasons I would rather not enumerate.. I would try fitting into my old jeans or dresses and find that although I lost a lot of my pregnancy weight, a lot still has to be lost. I then fall back into reality and realize, I may be stuck in this situation for the next few months.. Forgive me if I sound like I'm complaining. I am not.. I am even very much thankful for having a baby of my own, it's just that motherhood has somehow taken its toll on me, or maybe I am not that quick adjusting to my new routine just yet.

Leih has been on graveyard shift ever since he went back to work. And so upon arriving home in the morning, he would be so tired & weary from lack of sleep the night before. But still, he manages to take part in bathing the baby, cooing the baby after they've had a few minutes of morning sunlight at the veranda, and changing Chingching's diaper when I barely have enough energy to get up from bed. There would even be times when he'd prepare my breakfast, give me a warm glass of milk in bed, or whisper comforting words into my ear when he feels I'm at the brink of crying..

For two weeks, I've realized that having a baby should really be a shared responsibility. Something that is not to be put solely on the shoulders of the mother. Sad to say but in reality, most of the hardwork & pains in raising a child is carried by mothers rather than our better halves, considering that most mothers still  have their own jobs and careers to juggle.

Leih has been very helpful to me in every way. But    admittedly, at times, I still feel alone & helpless especially during the night when Leih isn't by my side to assist with the baby. I feel so guilty & frustrated when I can't get my baby to latch &  she starts to wail uncontrollably... That's how it is for me every night, at least for the past two weeks..

Then I start to think, what more if the husband orpartner isn't as cooperative as mine? I have heard of a few stories of mothers complaining about how alone they feel being left into rearing their babies, and some even go through post-partum depression. There is even this woman I know who recently gave birth to a beautiful baby and yet, her husband expects her to tend to their baby's needs alone, what's worse is he even had the audacity to cheat on her with a girl at work. Tragic.

It isn't just physical stress that new mothers go through after giving birth, emotional stress creeps up as well.. Insecurities start to build up, boredom, exhaustion... name it, a new mother experiences it all.

I believe that husbands should understand that they should not just share the responsibility of parenthood but they should also take into consideration the feelings of their partners & assure them that they are not alone in this new chapter in their lives. This is the moment when mothers need their husbands the most.

Last night was another ordinary night for us. Chingching would usually be up and fussy, and I would end up teary-eyed not knowing how to calm her. Maybe out of sheer exhaustion, I fell asleep just as dawn crept in, thank God I woke up to a brimming cup of hot chocolate beside the bed with Leih cooing the baby, telling me to take my time and sleep even for a few minutes more... I felt relieved knowing I could take an hour or two to rest & do other things.Thank God, Leih's already home... (",)

Me & My Boppy Pillow...

Nursing the baby has given me back pains since I gave birth. It's the weight of the baby and the position I take that has aggravated my back pains, though a good massage often relieves it, still, it is inevitable.

I am just so thankful I have my Boppy Pillow. It's a life-saver. The comfort it has provided me is absolutely remarkable. My baby loves to lie down on it when I nurse her, it has been my traveling buddy too.

my ever-dependable Boppy Pillow...

If there's one piece of advice I could give other expecting moms, it would be to get this pillow... Of course, every possible way to ease the discomfort of moms is important. At least for me, it is.. =)

Ready To Go Home...

After Chingching's delivery, we had our little one roomed in with us immediately. After 15 hours of labor, I felt so drained of energy, exhausted and very very hungry... As soon as I was brought to the recovery room, my blood pressure dropped fast probably because of everything I've just went through. Good thing the nurses and doctors were very alert, in no time my bp. was back to normal... I asked Leih to get me a Grande sized Starbucks hot chocolate which was practically the first thing that ever touched my lips since the day before.

It was not an easy delivery but I am more than thankful that I got through it fast, not to mention, seeing my baby for the first time ~~~ everything else seemed like a blur, I was in heaven, indeed.

My very good friend Aaan who also happens to be one of Chingching's godmothers, dropped by for the second time. I was still at the labor room when she rushed to the hospital the night before and returned the morning after, right away when she heard that Francesca has already made her grand entrance. I was so happy to see her after my grueling 15 hours.



And then my beautiful cousin Jates (Ninang Jates) and my Mommy Abut came at about 8:00 in the evening to take their first glimpse on the new baby. I felt so happy just seeing my family.

The night before, I barely had any sleep and so did Leih and Mommy so I had my mom sent home with my aunt and cousin so she could rest and regain some sleep. Leih came back to be with me and our little one.


Admittedly, our first night together with Chingching was of mixed emotions. I only had Leih to rely on for errands which he obligingly did without question. I was so drained of energy and still suffering from the painful episiotomy & sore tummy from the fundal pressure I got from the delivery that I can barely walk and sit properly and yet, I had to force myself to get up to tend to the little one who seemed restless the whole night... I didn't know how to feed her, considering I was determined to breastfeed her and not give her any formula for the first few weeks. It was so frustrating at first and in the wee hours of the morning, I was forced to contact my friend Loren (who also recently gave birth) to ask for advice on how to deal with a restless unfed baby. With tears in my eyes, I tried to console myself with the fact that everything could be learned and that the morning after, Leih and I will have a Lactation consultant to help us with Chingching's feeding.

And just as I cried myself to frustration, my very tired husband who also had barely enough sleep himself, comforted me and tended to Chingching as well... I knew how tired he must have been, not having any sleep for more than 24 hours now but still, he did everything to help ease what depression has overcome me... I am more than thankful to have a wonderful husband beside me, assisting me when I needed to go to the bathroom, tending to my other needs, massaging my back when it hurts, running to and fro 5 floors down just to get me my favorite Contis meal or a hot chocolate from Starbucks. And for the first time, I saw how loving of a father he was to Chingching. He deserves to have a child, indeed.

Morning came and a lactation consultant came to our rescue. She was of big help as she explained to me how everything works and what I should do to help my baby latch on to me much effectively. Another lactation consultant came the next morning to check in on us and by the time we were about to be discharged from the hospital, they gave us another round of check up to make sure I knew how to breastfeed properly.

Our stay at the hospital was worth every penny. I had everything at the touch of a button. We had the best maternity care and everything else I could possibly ask for.


We were able to go home at 2 in the afternoon of January 21. Me, Leih & my baby... Finally, the family headed home for the first time....

The Day ChingChing Arrived...

I have been pretty much anticipating the day when I'll get to meet my daughter... But as I started dilation a few weeks ago which showed slow progression, the waiting seemed like forever... It was in the afternoon of January 18, 2011 that I was scheduled for another check up (and definitely another internal exam) with my OB. Though we weren't expecting much yet as I was good to go (still scrubbing floors and all), we brought all our bags with us on our way to the clinic.

Good thing I had a full lunch before heading out to Makati Medical Center as I didn't expect that by my third check up, the doctor will have me admitted to the delivery room for good.
I was 4cm dilated at 2:00 PM. that day. My doctor, Dr. Arlene Bravo, was amazed at how tolerant I was with pain & labor contractions I didn't even feel I was having considering I was already on active labor.

I got admitted right away, as Leih & Mommy secured a large private room where they stayed until I delivered. They decided not to tell my dad that I was already in labor to avoid making him worry more. I knew my mom was frantic & already panicking as well though she didn't want me to see it. I kissed her goodbye as I got inside the labor room, not knowing when I'll see her again...

first time to meet the baby...

my  wait had truly been worth it..

It had been a pretty long labor for me, my dilation had been slow for the first several hours, but it took me a great 15 hours in the labor room where I had my share of anxiety attack at one point, starting from the time an epidural was given to me and my legs started to numb. I started to feel intense contractions that would shoot right into the very depths of my body but everything was tolerable (thank God for epidural).. I worried for my family outside the labor room, starting from my hypertensive mom who was waiting patiently outside for any news, my dad, my husband who was apparently nervous himself, and lastly, I kept on thinking about my dog Zach whom I left at home hours ago with so little food. Things started racing in my mind. I never slept even for a minute, as I was terrified of what was to come soon, the only thing that made me going was my faith in God and my anticipation to finally meet my little girl.

As 4:20 A.M. struck, my OB. came to check in on me and thankfully, I was fully dilated by then. But this time, it was different. I felt a surge of courage inside me, knowing that it'll only be a few minutes and I'll be over the unexpected. As they transferred me to the delivery room, they had me prepped up for the big event.. Suddenly, all my apprehensions were gone, I was ready to do what was needed. I watched how my doctors and the attending nurses marched inside the room seemingly gearing up for battle. Everyone was ready as my husband was called inside to be with me.

Leih looked differently as he entered the delivery room, I knew he was terrified as well. He held my hand as I prepared to push for my baby. It had been 7 excruciating rounds of 10 pushes each before we finally heard the most wonderful cry in the world. And upon realizing that the worse is over, all the pains from the labor & fundal pressures I felt seemed to disappear. I knew I got through everything with flying colors, and I was proud of myself that I did it.

It had been a very tiring day for us. At 4:40 in the morning of January 19, 2011, our waiting was finally over... My baby Francesca Dominique has arrived at last... And just as the morning was only starting for everyone else, mine became the morning when I could finally have my well-deserved sleep and rest, now without worries anymore...

Thank God for this wonderful day...

Getting Ready for the Big Day!

We had another ultrasound today and thankfully, after two weeks of waiting, the doctor confirmed that my baby has gained at least two lbs over the holidays, very good news indeed. She also examined me and announced that as of January 4, I am already 2cm dilated. With how fast the dilation will come is still a question to us, but we're hoping it wouldn't take very long before Chingching finally makes her grand entrance... For other expectant mothers, one cm. could take up to weeks, just like what happened to my other friends who have been patiently waiting just like me.

setting up the crib to know how it'll look once it's to be used..

As soon as we got home, Leih got so excited with the crib that he finished setting it up before midnight struck. I had him place it inside our room where everything was already in order. I decided not to put the beddings yet so as to avoid accumulating dust just in case it takes a while for me to dilate but I had to see how it'll look like once Francesca's home..

The crib is now covered with thick blanket and all the other necessities are already inside it. I also took the liberty of putting her first toys inside the crib, including this very cute sleeping Hello Kitty, though everything is well-kept in translucent plastic bags..

Our maternity bags including my mom's are prepared and on stand-by, ready to load in the car, in case of any emergency. We have a feeling it'll take a while but hopefully, not before next week ends... I'm keeping my fingers crossed..

Celebrating The New Year Together

This will be the first time for Leih and I to celebrate the incoming New Year together... I'm just glad that RWM granted his request for vacation leave and so far, he's been with me to celebrate all the special occasions this December.

We didn't get any fireworks, just a simple spread of food at the table which we shared at midnight with Mommy. Leih honked his car as loud as he could as I set the music at it's maximum, and that was it. Mommy & Leih watched the fireworks outside afterwards, while I opted to stay inside our room.

Zach got very scared of the non-stop noise everywhere so I had to keep him company, making sure he knew he wasn't alone, and since I tried to avoid the fumes seeping inside the house, I stayed away from the open space.

This was a first indeed. Maybe next year, we'll have a little baby girl to celebrate the holidays with.. That, I am so looking forward to. =)

My Cleaning Project...

After Christmas, I decided to take the rest of December off so I could rest at home as we await for our little bundle of joy... But being at home can be very boring, at least for someone like me who's always on the go.

And just this morning, upon waking up, I felt great that I decided to help with the household chores.. I was really up for it. Before I knew it, the whole house was sparkling clean, I just couldn't miss not taking pictures of it.

our living room..

see the sparkling floor?

our very own bedroom...

the dining area....
I felt so accomplished, having cleaned everything. It feels so light to see your place as orderly and well-maintained... I just hope I'll still have the time and energy to do so even after I've given birth..

Christmas Eve with "KAOS"...

Leih had been planning this surprise for weeks now. He even asked me to tell Jates that all the four of us including Mommy are to go somewhere nice. To where, I only had the vaguest idea. He barely gave me clues. Little did I know that we were headed to Resorts World Manila where he got us four tickets to the KAOS musicale. Oh how happy I was!!!

my beautiful baby Jates, Mommy & me..

with Jates on Christmas Eve..

It was my first time at RWM ~ the place where Leihson works. I met a few of his friends along the way. The casino was closed that day so I just had a glimpse on where his "office" is, but definitely, the place is magnificently beautiful. He toured us inside the hotel which had a mini mall and some nice plush restos to try. Good thing I brought a camera with me. I am sure to go back here maybe after I've given birth.

my greatest blessing.. Leih...

with KAOS the lion..

Jates, Mommy and I had such a great time watching the musicale. It wasn't just an ordinary musicale, it had live acrobatics in it, real lions, magnificent costumes, a set so beautifully prepared... It was all in one package.

the musicale, taken by Jates on her iphone..

Jates & Mommy

Leih wasn't into musicales that much, but knowing we'd enjoy it, he thought it would be a nice Christmas treat. After the show, we decided to go to Serendra where we had an early Pre-Christmas dinner at Larry's Cafe before going back home. The place was so crowded and there were hardly any other places to eat, good thing we enjoyed our food there despite the crowd.

Mommy & I as we wait for dinner..

It had truly been a wonderful Christmas eve for the four of us. My cousin Bobby is coming home in a few hours with 3 of his friends in tow. This will be a great Christmas for everyone, I'm sure...

Leih's Surprise Dinner Date...

Since I had been pretty much depressed after yesterday's check up, Leih decided to surprise me by taking me and Mommy out to dinner in Tagaytay.

Josephine's Resto on a cold December night..

He had a table reserved for us at Josephine's Restaurant where the three of us shared a bountiful array of food. It had been months since we last went to Tagaytay. I would often ask Mommy and Leih to bring me there in the weekends just to relax but the long drive from our place makes Mommy worry that I might go into premature labor or something. But tonight was different. Leih was determined to make me enjoy the rest of the holidays and before we headed back home, I was pretty much stuffed. We also had coffee at Starbucks and for the first time, I didn't think twice of ordering a Venti Hot Chocolate. Tonight, I had my fill of my favorite drink.

My dearest Mommy & I enjoying dinner..

me & my very thoughtful hubby...

It was a great Thursday night surprise... A wonderful romantic dinner on a cold December...

Dieting Gone Overboard

I've just finished wiping my tears as I write this... Today, we saw our doctor and the last ultrasound report of my baby wasn't as good as the previous ones... I was asked to take another ultrasound just to be sure since her weight hasn't been very satisfactory for her fetal age.

I felt so guilty upon learning that my baby has become underweight, with her abdominal circumference a little below the normal range than the rest of her body. My OB told me to eat as much as I could, ~ contrary to what most doctors advise their patients in their 8th month of pregnancy. In my fear of getting gestational diabetes, I have probably gone overboard with the dieting which led my baby not to gain the much needed weight.

I was literally ice-cold in her clinic as she read the results of my ultrasound. Leih had been very patient with me, holding my hand and assuring me that it still can be fixed and that our baby will be okay, provided that I eat to my heart's content during the holidays which I vow to do.

I have no plans of controlling my urge to eat, not in the next weeks to come.. I just hope she gains more before our next appointment with the doctor...

Early Christmas Presents!

With all the cute onesies, mittens & booties Chingching has received the past months, I believe we are pretty much covered. She has way too much onesies neatly stacked in the cabinet, waiting to be worn. I am just so excited.

just look at all those girly stuff!!!

Today, Tita Chim & Tito Vernon (our very good friends), gave Chingching their early Christmas gifts. Three pink-colored super cute onesies, mittens, bonnets & booties to match... I soooo love the designs of the booties, they're just so feminine... I hope it fits my baby well. It'll look perfect on her I'm sure...her uber-cute booties....

Thanks Tita Chim & Tito Venz! You guys are the sweetest...

Francesca's Scrapbook...

I just started scrapbooking for my little one... I have yet to fill it with her pictures when she arrives, but I'm hoping I get to complete every detail in the book starting from her first hair cut, her first steps, up to her first birthday..

the cover of Chingching's scrapbook..

details about her dad...

details about mommy...

It's still a work in progress, but so far, I am enjoying every page of her book. I'll post more pics as the day progresses...

her first ultrasound pictures..

her family tree.. (some pics are still missing..)

her very first gifts...

Our Very First Wedding Anniversary...

Upon waking up this morning, the very first thing I did was pray and thank God for the wonderful year that Leih and I were blessed to share together... Today is our very first wedding anniversary and I couldn't be any happier.. Just thinking how time flies so fast that it seemed only yesterday that we were preparing for the big day, I could still remember the flowers, the ceremony, everything....

I didn't expect it would be easy for me to adjust to married life, after all the things I hear from other married women. True enough that there are a lot of changes once you decide to take the plunge, but for me, it had been a wonderful transition.Every day is something we both look forward to, every day seems like a brand new story, and a year has passed but the love has grown much deeper. I could say I haven't loved anybody as much as I love this man. And if I would be given another chance to do it all, it would still be him I will choose..

Leih has made me very happy...

Leih and I don't seem to have grown up much. When we're together, we're more like kids teasing each other, having fun, laughing at the smallest things... these are the moments I love the most... It's like being in love for the first time all over again... I love doing things for him, having to care for all he needs just as he does mine, praying with him before we go to bed.. and every night, as we both go to slumber, we would find our hands intertwined just before we lose ourselves in our own dreams...... small things that matter so much...

after a wonderful dinner at Rockwell...

In my life, not everything is a fairy tale. But true indeed that we are the ones who make our own fairy tales. And now as I look back at the year that has passed since I married Leih, I definitely conclude that God must love me so much to have given me Leih as one of my biggest blessings in life... I don't think I could ever find a more loving, more kind, and more responsible man than Leihson. And for that, I am more than thankful.

Hoping to spend a lifetime with Leih.. more kisses and hugs every morning before we start our day, more happy moments with our families and friends...

For now, we would just enjoy what seems to be the start of more wonderful years to come..

A Crib, Finally!!!

I saw my doctor today... It was a relief to hear that everything seemed okay. I was asked to get a series of tests just to make sure. But the most exciting part of the day was when we went to buy a crib and some baby stuff for my little Chingching!!!


We finally got her a beautiful crib!!!! I so totally dig it!!! Loved it upon seeing it the first time, it had a neutral creamy brown color, complete with a musical mobile & rocker, a hood & a diaper changer... Not as expensive as other cribs & playpens are, but totally worth every cent. 'twas a great buy!

I also got her a few blankets, another set of bedding, 3 cute dresses & some other stuff that we will be using when she arrives... We went home with a lot of loot in hand...

Shopping for the baby invigorates me big time!

Our New Dining Area...

After our scheduled ultrasound today, Mommy, Leih & I headed to look for a new dining set which we planned to replace a few weeks ago. We were supposed to get only 6 dining chairs since our dining table is still very much in good shape. But upon comparing prices, we realized it would be a much wiser move to just get the whole set than getting only 6 chairs. We ended up getting a good buy at Furniture World. I just so love how our new dining area looks like, and mind you, I personally chose this design!





I posted some pictures of our new dining area.. Hope Daddy likes it when he comes home in February! It'll be a surprise!

A Bagful of Stuff For Chingching

My aunt Mommy Mel arrived today from the States for a 3-month vacation. Sadly, my cousin Injey & her bf Shay couldn't join her as they had their own schedules to fill.

But still, my cousin managed to remember my baby and even shopped pretty clothes & stuff for her which my aunt hand-carried on her way home. I am just so touched with the gesture, thinking how much they love my baby even if she hasn't arrived yet..

a few pairs of onesies from the bagful of pasalubong we got.

Mommy Mel gave me swaddling blankets of different designs, cute newborn onesies & even big ones, feeding bottles, bibs, mittens, bonnets & booties, Russ Bears from Injey & a very cute pair of sandals, even boxes of baby wipes! I went home carrying 3 bagfuls of baby stuff!!! I couldn't be any happier...


My most favorite however is the Baby Gap onesie & this lovely little sweater... They're just adorably cute... Super thanks to my Mommy Mel & cousin Injey for the pasalubong!!!