But among all the dogs that I took care of, Milky is by far one of my most favorites. She was an offspring of a Japanese Spitz that I had and eventually gave to my Kuya. It was the 1st of January 2001 when Milky was born. From 10 puppies, it was her and her brother Whitey that caught my eye.. She was comparably smaller than her siblings making her so adorably cute. She was also very gentle in nature but a very fierce guard-dog. Sad to say, she never had any puppies of her own.
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| back in 2005 after we joined a Swatch contest.... |
Just looking back at how those 12 years had passed, I can say that Milky had been witness to so many milestones in my life. She was my silent confidante. She has seen me blossom into a woman, has been with me in my most trying times. She has seen me fall in love & was there when I fell down. At times, I would think, people might perceive me to be a weirdo for talking to a dog who doesn't even understand me, but yes, I do that because I have nobody to run to like others who have sisters of their own. When my heart got broken so bad and I couldn't tell my mom yet what was bothering me, it was her I first confided in. I cried like a baby and I remember how she just stared back at me as she slowly licked my hand, seemingly telling me that I would be okay and that I am not alone. That was that one time that I would never ever forget.
She saw me triumph a lot of times. Hers was the face that would greet me when I get home, jumping with excitement upon knowing I have arrived. I honestly feel that most of the time, dogs are far more grateful than humans are. They have a way of making you feel like you are their world. Every effort and every act of kindness you give them will never be left unreciprocated.
Milky was present in the most important times of my life. When I graduated from my Masters, when I got married, had a child... She accepted my little girl and loved her as much as she loved me... Every morning, Ching would walk outside and frantically run after her, chasing her while calling her name and she would graciously bow her head while Ching pats her back. I was never scared to let my kid touch her, knowing how kind she was..
I knew that eventually, this time would come but still, it breaks my heart knowing that my bestfriend of 12 years is finally gone... It wasn't the first time Milky got sick. I have saved her countless times in the past, patiently giving her medicines and force-feeding her (I open her mouth and try to give her fine-ground Alpo meat, or I make her drink milk even if it takes me an hour), and so far, she survived.. But these last two weeks had been terrible. I knew she was slipping away slowly from me as no medicine could seem to make her condition better. She could barely walk & eat, I feel like choking every time I left for work, thinking I might not see her alive when I get back..
Last night, I knew it was only a matter of hours and she'd finally say goodbye to us. I was in tears as I took a last picture of her before I went to bed, but I found myself waking up just to check if she's still breathing. It was probably around dawn when she had her last breath. When I woke up, next thing I knew, she was gone...
I am wondering if a dog's soul is the same with that of a human. I wonder if she is still with us.. I hope she has gone to a place where she is happy and at peace.
Milky may be just a dog but for me, she is family.. And family she will always be....
