Saying Goodbye....

my Kuya Borge...

April is a month of mixed emotions for me... So many things are taking place too fast and though I must say, it had been a blessed month so far, I couldn't hide the sadness I feel as two of my loved ones are leaving for abroad, a week apart from each other... First, my dad will be leaving back for Jeddah tomorrow, and a week after, my Kuya Borge will be flying to Chicago for good...

        Kuya Borge and I grew up together. Him, me, Injey and Jates who happens to be the youngest. The three of us (Injey included) were born a few months apart from each other. We literally played & slept in one crib, shared meals and other things, had the usual petty fights, we pretty much have one memory of us growing up...

       They are the closest  I have to real siblings. But when  Injey left for Germany after graduation, I was heartbroken. I could still remember the day I cried a bucket when she left. It felt like losing a loved one.. Little did I realize that this familiar feeling would be back very soon.


      Kuya and I have always been there for each other... We may live in different houses now but still, he is a very big part of my life, him and Jates We've gone thru graduations, birthdays, weddings, heartbreaks, practically all the ups and downs (even silly instances like trips to the doctor for rabies shot which he loves making fun about) name it, I have a long list on standby...

      Whenever I am sad or troubled, it's him I run to for help. With Kuya Borge,  I  feel safe because I know I have someone to back me up. That whatever happens, he'd be there for me and he will love me just like he does his sisters.. And if you must know, I love my Kuya more than words could  measure, (maybe soooo much wouldn't suffice). Leih would tell me how amazed he is at how I've grown to love my cousins, and he feels sorry for me for not having a brother of my own.
 

Jates, me, Ching & Kuya...

          In a few days, he'll be off to start a new life in Chicago for God-knows-how long, and that's what chokes me to tears. I've been crying a river to Leih  since I learned about the possibility of my Kuya Borge leaving for work and now, the inevitable is slowly taking  place. It won' take long before Jates follows in next and just thinking about it drives me into deep depression.

      But as much as I would love him to stay with us here,  I am more than happy that he's finally going to start a whole new chapter in his life, I'm not sure if I told him how proud I was of him when he passed the PT State Board Exam with flying colors and how he got himself hired by a reputable rehab facility in the States. Not everyone could accomplish the things he did... I always knew he was an achiever.

Ching's 1st Christmas with Kuya...

 And despite the "separation-anxiety" I am now experiencing,I am thankful  for all the things he has now, even if it means I might not be able to see him for years... I just wish it won't take him long to go home back again..

      Ching will miss him more than I will... For now, all I can do is pray and wish him luck that wherever the wind takes him, he'll have a great life ahead of him...(and hopefully, he'll give us nieces/nephews in the future)

    We love you  so much, Kuya Borge... we'll miss you for sure..